"I am not alone"
This feeling has been evident for me more and more in recent times.
-When one lives with a rare disease and has multiple health issues, the journey can be rather solitary.
-Being a mental health professional while in a brethren assembly can feel rather isolating. I've heard men -at the pulpit warning people to stay away from seeking counseling - my career and calling.
-As a single woman, I do not have a spouse nor children. That said, celibacy is also a path I intentionally chose.
Over time, I see how God has provided me with the support I've needed as I experience loneliness in different aspects of my life. When I was younger, being alone was sad, uncomfortable and awkward. But over the years, I've really learned to be comfortable with my own company. During extended family gatherings, the question why I'm yet to be attached romantically occurs alot as well though its a lot less now (thank God!).
A married friend asked me recently how it's like to being single. I felt like I was rubbing it in her face when I said that I'm happy and contented, after she had vented to me about her husband. But that's the truth for me. Even married people can feel lonely despite being in a relationship.
By God's grace and blessing, I have many significant and meaningful friendships - friends that I know have my back, who love me tremendously. Last year, my supervision group did a family geneogram. And what comfort I felt when I saw that my figurine was surrounded by friends (picture below)! I was represented by an ambulance - as I felt that I'm constantly on crisis management mode. Yet, visualing this and recognizing that my friends are my support system, that they having been nourishing, sheltering me and keeping me firmly grounded was really heartwarming. These figurines reminded me of friends who have gone the extra mile - sacrificing time and energy to be present for me and to ensure that I am alright. Friends who pray for me and scold me, telling me to stop/pace myself, when I can't sit still when I should be slowing down. Friends who have been so generous when I've not even asked for financial help. Friends who are willing to be vulnerable and open - hence we have really meaningful and real conversations about life. Friends who are also accepting of my insanity and lame humor, and who help me feel young. Friends who also have the same sense of humor and we end up laughing for hours.
Dopey is also a figurine I selected for myself - for obvious reasons. I do think I'm pretty dope and dopey. But what caught my attention is that Dopey is looking up. I wanted to portray God in my geneogram but I couldn't figure out how to as I couldn't contain God in one figurine. Fixing my eyes on Jesus has kept me secure amidst all the craziness that happens in my life. Since then, whenever I feel troubled, I'll remind myself of these two pictures, and the loneliness goes away. So i'm really grateful for this. Thank you Abba Father!
