Talk is cheap

Recently, I went through a physical difficulty which magnified my emotional struggles. That trial made me realize that some things never change unless something drastic occurs. To know that I won't be taken seriously even though it is a cause for concern (for me, at least), sucks big time.

Unfortunately, I had the displeasure of having someone remind me of it, making me feel as though I was to be blamed for giving control to others, as though I was not making the effort to make things better for myself.

Of course, I ended up more hurt than I already was.

Anyway, as I reflect on this incident, I realize... talk is cheap. I think sometimes it is so easy to fall into the trap of giving our two cents about other people's lives - how they should live it, not knowing the difficulties, the struggles, or even their attempts of actually doing something about it. Sometimes people make comments without realizing how it affects others.

From my training as a mental health professional, I remember being taught time and time again how we may never fully understand what our clients go through or even the consequences of their actions, so we are not to give advice/solutions to solve their problems... and to avoid saying, "I know how you feel..." because really, unless you're in the same shoes, you don't know how it feels like. In fact, you may be in the same shoes, but still have different responses to it.

I think my own struggles and difficulties have allowed me to have a taste of what it is like to be seated in the other chair. As mentioned earlier, sometimes people are quick to give their opinions, like it-is-the-simplest-solution-ever-why-didn't-you-think-of-it? It's so easy to dismiss what other people go through - their pain, their suffering.

To be honest, I am quite put off when I tell certain individuals off for their faulty suggestions/advice, and they apologize by saying, "I'm sorry it came out wrong". That makes me wonder... so, you had something else to say but it came out wrongly... or was that your faulty perception of my experience all along (hence resulting in faulty advice/suggestions)? If you thought that that was what I was doing anyway, what you said didn't come out wrong... because that's what you believed it to be anyway... but your whole thought process was inaccurate. Another thing that irks me, which I know I'm guilty of as well, is saying, "I didn't mean it". If I were to be honest with myself too, I think at that point when I said it, I did mean it... if not, I wouldn't have said it.

Anyway, as much as these exchanges hurt, I realize that it makes me reflect on how I approach or respond to others, and not just limiting my interactions in my professional work. Do I just blab whatever that comes to mind or do I consider its consequences? Since my motto in life has been, "do unto others what you would have them do to you", I hope that I would be more careful with my words and to examine my perceptions when people talk to me about things they may be struggling with or when a scenario is presented to me.

This makes me realize that being an encourager/listener is never an easy task. But I think sometimes it's good to hold our tongue, when we aren't sure how things may be or may turn out to be.

Talk is cheap. But when it is given away, sometimes it may really cost us.