I had a really topsy-turvy, exhausting day. I felt real lows and real highs, having to deal with the stress of managing mom who fell, but refusing to go to the hospital. Me noticing that she had a swelling but no bruising, but also it didn't seem to suggest any fractures. Trying to call for help, and receiving some support from mom's friends. And also having the chance to go for tea with college mates - was even driven by a dear friend, and she prayed with me while we were in the car, in hopes that I would have a clear and calm heart and mind to leave the house to take a break myself.
And here I am now... recognizing the good that I experienced. Getting to hug and a card from a child, a girl that I had been babysitting and caring for whenever her mom needed help. Getting a long embrace from Kat, one of my dearest friends... i had quite a few good laughs as well during our tea session...
and yet, here I am now, struggling to sleep... feeling alone and just at the verge of tears. I know this is irrational but I also know this is my depressive symptom sneaking in. I'm really trying hard to comfort myself - hugging Huggy and also feeling the texture of my flannel blanket, but i'm experiencing this nauseating headache and this sense of deep loneliness. I just... don't know what to do. I'm literally going through a checklist in my head, as a therapist, what coping skills I can use to manage this... but I'm blank.
Lord, please help me rest. Help me feel comforted and secure...
No comments:
Post a Comment