Thursday, 2 December 2021

Depleted

After three full on days of hospital visits, providing supervision - pretty much working till late at night.. I find myself feeling spent. I decided to allocate some me-time in between errands today. It was enjoyable for the most part, but during lunch, my anxiety just kept rising, to the point that I was noxious and the physical symptoms were really uncomfortable (i.e. chest pains, tingling, shortness of breath, headache). I couldn't even finish my to-do list and decided to head home.

And my phone beeped a lot throughout the day, with a lot of requests for help/advice, etc... and it just made me feel like I've been assuming this role of being a pillar for people. But this pillar is now cracking under immense pressure and stress, and it feels like it is going to collapse. Its times like these that I feel really alone. Honestly, I'm grateful that I've close friends who live halfway across the globe from me, because I am able to text them when it's too late to text local friends due to the time. 

I want to sleep... coz I am super exhausted... but I can imagine another anxiety-provoking nightmare is awaiting me. How much longer can I take this?