my temper has not been good the past two days... due to the "flood" that occurred in my room. there was so much anger and disappointment, when my family members didn't come to my rescue. i think this year... my sense of loneliness within the family has escalated. i feel disconnected. i feel as though i can't reach out to them, nor are they reaching out to me.
it's been a tough year.. when mom said that it was no point that they came back coz they couldn't DO anything... i realized... getting them to DO something, wasn't my top priority. I just needed them to BE there...
which makes me think and reflect... more often than not, we all think that we can only be effective if we DO something... we forget to BE ourselves. i remember DN reminding me... i am already God's blessing. I don't need to DO something... as though i need to prove my worth. I just need to BE who i am... and that's good enough.
i think sometimes we focus so much on what we can do, that when we, in our finite minds think that nothing can be done... we just surrender... or we don't do anything... but the best gift that we could offer could actually just be BEING there... the presence of someone who understands... who empathizes... is so much more powerful...
going for the Psychological First Aid course made me realize... this is exactly it. Our goal isn't to go there to SAVE them... to MAKE a difference... it's to hold those in pain... to accept and to share the experience of the disaster... it's to BE there...
need to learn to be there...
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