I can't believe today is the last day of 2015. It's been a year of mixed feelings. An eventful year, and yet... I feel like I did not do much. Many times I had to sit back instead of joining joyous occasions because my health wouldn't permit me to participate.
As I attempt to quieten myself and be more aware of how I treated myself, I realize I'm rather unforgiving towards myself. I tend to hold high expectations of myself... And I'm slowly uncovering how this pattern came about. I can't wait to start my spiritual direction sessions.
One question that has been popping up in my head is "am I OK?"
To be honest. I don't know what is the answer to that question. I seem to have been going with the flow, at times feeling helpless. I've been exhausted. Even reflecting and pondering while writing this blog, mentally drains me and I feel I need a nap to recover from the exhaustion.
One thing I want to remind myself is that my journey is still unpredictable and uncertain, but I hope I will never forget that God is holding my hand and He is in control. Please Lord, I pray that You will continue to guide me and to comfort me when I'm discouraged. Your mercies are new every morning.
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