Making A Choice

For quite a long time, I've been feeling disempowered by my current condition. I've been focusing on how things were like in the past and missing my old self. I'm still grieving the loss of my past talents - being able to read deep/insightful books, playing my musical instruments with ease, being able to work long hours, etc.

A friend recently reminded me that I have choices. I can choose to dwell in my sadness, to hold on to my past.... or I can choose to embrace my new self and be happy, joyful even. She reminded me that it may be more difficult now for me to enjoy the things that came to me easily, but nonetheless, I can still enjoy them... I just need to pace myself and be patient with myself.

We have no obligations, only opportunities.

This sentence is filling my mind. I can make a choice to make things different. My life can still be fulfilling even with my limitations. There are a lot of things I need to adapt to, but I can do it. I just need to give myself ample time and to be nice to myself.

I know I tend to be really hard on myself... it doesn't help when people add the stress on to me. But I think I need to be ok with myself. That's most important. It's not an easy road to travel... but I need to do this. I need to move on.  It's OK to grieve, but I need to look ahead.

Just last weekend, I attended a funeral and a wedding, one after another. What intrigued me was that both chose the same song... One song that was appropriate for both a mournful and joyful event. That song was "10000 Reasons" by Matt Redman. The title of the song made me realize... really, in all situations... we can praise our God for being our comforter and friend, as He is forever faithful in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. As I grieve my own circumstances... He is with me. As I try to look ahead and move on, He is still with me...

10,000 REASONS

Bless the Lord O my soul

O my soul

Worship His Holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I’ll worship Your Holy name

The sun comes up

It’s a new day dawning

It’s time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass

And whatever lies before me

Let me be singing

When the evening comes

You’re rich in love

And You’re slow to anger

Your name is great

And Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness

I will keep on singing

Ten thousand reasons

For my heart to find

And on that day

When my strength is failing

The end draws near

And my time has come

Still my soul will

Sing Your praise unending

Ten thousand years

And then forevermore