I Lie Awake

It is 4.28am in the morning and I am still awake. The physical pain I'm experiencing is keeping me from sleeping. I can feel the fatigue in my brain, and yet my body is unable to rest due to the discomfort. As I try to turn to the Bible for solace.. I am directed to two Bible verses. The first being Psalm 4:8.

Whenever I read this verse, I am transported back to the eve of my first brain surgery. This verse meant alot to me and it gave me tremendous peace as I prepared myself to go under the knife. And it also reminds me of Steve Green's voice, the snippet he shared before the kids sang this verse.
"Peace is a safe, calm feeling. God gives His children peace when they trust Him. No big fortress or a mighty army could keep us any safer. So, no matter where you are... or what problems you have, you can sleep peacefully because He, is watching over you"

Such assurances that enveloped me. As I listen to the song again now, i recognize that my heart is at peace... but my body is still suffering. And I realize that these two can go hand in hand and it doesn't have to be exclusive of each other. Peace doesn't mean that I am relieved of my physical pain. But what helps is knowing that God is still in control and that He is watching over me, despite the pain. 

The second verse was Romans 8:18 ~ "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us"

This verse helps me to refocus on what is important. I am by no means dismissing my discomfort and struggle. I definitely do still struggle to adapt to this New Me again. But what a joy it is to be able to look forward to the future, while remaining steadfast in my hope in my Abba Father. 

Lord, please grant me a good night's rest as I remind myself of Your everlasting love and providence. I pra too that you will sustain me as I make my way to the hospital for my lung checkup later in the day. I also pray that You will help ease the discomfort in the other parts of my body - from my gasping brain, the heaviness in my chest, my breathlessness, my tingling arm and leg, the dull ache in my abdomen, and the bleeding I am experiencing again - Lord, I just surrender all these broken and impaired parts to You.