ponderings

It's about a week left before I get myself admitted to hospital for my surgery. Time sure flies. Still, its strange, realizing that I'm seated in my own KL room, and I no longer reside in Singapore anymore. things just happened so quickly, I have not processed what's been going on.

one thing I observed, talking to friends about my upcoming surgery... is how people tend say, "you'll be ok/alright". It's very interesting because I feel sometimes that phrase was meant to comfort them. Sometimes I find myself comforting them that I will be alright because they seem to be affected. To be honest, it isn't much of a comfort for me, because nobody can actually tell if things will go smoothly during surgery. Not even my surgeon who will be working on my brain.

I also notice how people would shush me whenever I try to make arrangements or state that I may suffer a stroke during surgery. I know it doesn't sound pleasant, but it's a very real situation. Maybe it's me, I'd rather set realistic expectations that a stroke may or may not happen, than just falsely believe that everything will be perfect.

But something I want to remind myself is that through this journey, I really got to know who my real friends were. If not for this disease, I would probably not have realized how loved I am. I am touched by a dear dear friend who dumped her own holiday to travel to singapore to help me pack while i was getting ready to shift back to KL. I am touched by friends who have been praying for me, and telling me that I am in their thoughts. When I was keen to start a new project, I had friends who encouraged me and gave me ideas. I have people volunteering to be part of the project. I'm so amazed by God's providence. What the project is will be a new post. but right now, I just want to dwell in the moment of being thankful for the people around me, amidst my observations.