One of the things I enjoy most from my training in psychology is the practice of reflection. Sure, there are times when I ruminate and my thoughts spiral, which is not very healthy but being able to stop and review myself, namely my experiences, my thoughts, my feelings and to respond to them, helps me to discover parts of myself - whether its to acknowledge my limitations or to validate my strengths.
One of the prevailing themes of late was the realization that I really do enjoy being a educator/mentor/supervisor. My journey as an educator started early, having taught tuition to children from underprivileged families as part of a church ministry. However, I recall having doubts about teaching as a career, feeling like I wouldn't be able to live up to expectations due to my mom having been a teacher herself. Looking back, I had really poor self esteem back then. But even then, I still ended up teaching for two years because my sister needed an English teacher because I was expected by my family to help her out at her centre. In fact, my motivation to do my masters was so that I could have a way out from bearing that expectation for the rest of my life. But I did enjoy the children and being maternal towards them.
A few years later, I was offered the role as a tutor thanks to my ex-lecturer-cum-friend. Again, I had my doubts, even though I had already conducted workshops before as a trainer and had guest lectured several uni level classes. But this time, I took it as a challenge to grow as a person and professional. And honestly, it was a practical move - I needed a flexible but secure job to earn my keep. My private practice boss-cum-friend had also encouraged me to take on clinical supervisees because she felt I had the gift of mentoring others. It took some time for her to convince me to take the first step of supervising because I felt incompetent - I had only agreed after taking a course on how to be a supervisor to prepare myself.
My university students, both the undergraduate and master-level students, and even my current supervisees have been very affirming of my interactions with them. One of my clinical interns had recently thanked me for being a good mentor to her after I had posed a few questions to her in response to a crossroad she was facing. My boss has been validating my efforts - stating that my approachable nature yet unwavering ethical/clinical standards make me a good supervisor. And just today, I received an unexpected email from an undergraduate student I taught last year, who decided to drop a random email just to let me know that she enjoyed my classes last year and ask if I taught any 3rd year subjects, reason being she wanted to take those classes.
I have been thinking about my previous fear - noted in my recent postings - that I would be devastated in I wasn't selected for the international NGO job. Well... I won't lie, it would definitely hurt to be rejected but I'm realizing that I still have other avenues that I can shine in and actually, God has already provided these opportunities for me to grow in this particular field. In fact, if I do get that NGO role, I will miss being able to tutor and journey with my university students.
With this in mind, the possibilities are endless. Again, God reveals hope, peace and contentment. 😊
No comments:
Post a Comment